Freaking Amazing Friday Inspiration

(English below)

Kære skønne mennesker, i dag har jeg fået lov til at komme indenfor i Sofias verden her på bloggen (Tak for det søde Sofia <3 ), men de af jer som følger Sofia på de sociale medier, ved måske godt hvem jeg er.

Mit navn er Camilla og jeg er Sofias assistent i Danmark, og det har jeg været de seneste måneder, og nyder at kunne samarbejde med hende og være med til at inspirere jer hver dag.

Men før min rejse i livet førte mig sammen med Sofia, så har jeg besteget emotionelle bjerge, kæmpet indre kampe og ændret mine drømme mange gange igennem de sidste 40 år.

Uventet gravid

Da jeg i 2001 blev “uventet” gravid i en alder af 24 år var jeg på mit sidste år af min uddannelse som salgsassistent. Jeg havde aldrig drømt om at mit liv skulle tage den drejning, og at jeg skulle gå til min sidste eksamen i 8 måned. Det var den vildeste omvæltning i mit liv at blive mor og alt det jeg havde drømt om, var pludselig sat på pause.

Her stod jeg i sommeren 2002, med min lille nyfødte datter og havde lige købt en lille lejlighed med min datters far, jeg havde ikke et job og vidste ikke ærlig talt ikke hvordan vi skulle få alt til at hænge sammen.

Det blev en hård tid, både for mig, mit barn og mit forhold til hendes far, da vi alle skulle vende os til et nyt liv. I sommeren 2004, lige efter min datters 2-års fødselsdag, valgte hendes far og jeg at gå fra hinanden. Endnu engang tog mit liv en drejning, som jeg aldrig havde drømt om.

Det vildeste var, at jeg for første gang i en alder af 27 år nu skulle bo helt alene, og så med en lille pige, uden et job. Der var ikke tid til at dvæle for meget ved situationen, nu gjaldt det om at få en hverdag og et job, så vi kunne klare os selv.

De første drømme som solomor

Jeg havde altid haft et ønske om at lave noget kreativt. Udvikle og skabe ting og smukke rammer, hvilket var derfor at jeg tog min uddannelse som salgsassistent i en interiør og indretningsbutik. Her fik jeg lov til at skabe og inspirere andre til at få smukke hjem, der afspejlede hvem de var. Men med et lille barn og meget trængt økonomi, kunne jeg ikke tage et arbejde i en butik, for arbejdstiderne hang simpelthen ikke sammen for mig, som alene mor, og jeg havde ikke råd til at betale for en babysitter.

Så det handlede om at tænke fremad. Skabe nye drømme for mig selv. Jeg drømte stort og ville gøre noget med mit liv. Noget jeg elskede og som gav mening for mig helt ind i min sjæl.

Jeg drømte om at hjælpe andre mødre som stod i samme situation som jeg, en mulighed for at også jeg selv kunne lære noget af andre. Vi kunne stå sammen i de udfordringer der er når man er solomor.

Penge før drømme

Alle omkring mig synes bare at jeg skulle tage et job, hurtigst muligt, hvilket jeg så gjorde. Det skulle jo ikke hedde sig at jeg prioriterede mine egne drømme frem for at tjene penge til mig og min datter. Jeg gik på kompromis med mig selv, for at folk ikke kunne dømme mig (Hvilket jeg følte de ville – det var min overbevisning på det tidspunkt).

Men det job holdt ikke længe. Jeg blev deprimeret. Jeg hadede mit arbejde, som receptionist og jeg græd hver dag jeg kørte hjem fra arbejde. En morgen fik jeg nok og sagde op, ansøgte om en plads på en uddannelse som eventkoordinator (så jeg igen kunne være kreativ), og få uger efter kom jeg ind og startede som studerende. Jeg drømte nye drømme. Jeg så fremad igen. Jeg var glad.

Nye drømme som solomor – Der hurtigt igen blev erstatet af pengemangel

Det var en helt vidunderlig kreativ tid som studerende og jeg elskede det. Jeg havde tid til at være mor, imens jeg lærte nye ting, var kreativ og blev inspireret hver dag. Ja det var hårdt økonomisk at være på SU som alenemor, specielt fordi jeg, som de fleste andre studerende, ikke havde mulighed for at tage et studiejob når jeg var solomor, men vi klarede det og hverken jeg eller min datter led nogen nød.

Da jeg efter 2 år var færdig og uddannet som eventkoordinator, var jeg flyvende og skulle bare ud i livet og leve mit drømmeliv som eventkoordinator. Men igen tog mit liv en uventet drejning. Krisen ramte Danmark og verdenen og ingen virksomheder havde brug for en nyuddannet koordinator.

Igen måtte jeg se mine drømme smuldre i mine hænder og se mig om efter et alternativ.

Alternativet blev endnu et kontorjob. Endnu et job af nød mere end af lyst. Endnu et valg truffet på baggrund af at skulle overleve og forsørge. Men jeg følte ikke at jeg havde et andet valg – det var min overbevisning på det tidspunkt.

Årene gik, jeg arbejdede i forskellige stillinger som Personlig assistent og kontormus. Jeg var god til det. Jeg oplevede at noget inden i mig følte en slags “Need to be needed” følelse, og som personlig assistent er der brug for dig og det du gør. Men jeg var aldrig rigtig glad helt ind i sjælen. Jeg arbejdede ufattelig mange timer både på kontoret og derhjemme og det sled mig op indvendig.

Jeg drømte ikke længere om fremtiden. Jeg var bare i livet. Den ene dag tog den anden og jeg husker knap nok hvad jeg lavede de år, udover at være mor og arbejde. Jeg overlevede i stedet for at leve.

Fyrringen der satte liv i drømmene igen

Mine drømme blev dog vakt til live helt tilfældigt den dag i 2015 hvor jeg blev fyret pga. Nedskæringer. Jeg blev først ked af det. Rasende faktisk. For hvordan skulle jeg nu overleve?

Men få dage efter, kom drømmen til mig.. Dette var et tegn. Et tegn på at det igen var tid til at leve og ikke bare overleve. Jeg kunne måske endelig udleve min drøm om at hjælpe andre, og skabe min egen hverdag og virksomhed. Dog blev processen med, at finde ind til hvad jeg skulle lave, ændret undervejs. Jeg måtte bruge mine evner til at hjælpe på en anden måde end først antaget, så drømmen om et selvstændigt liv som en der hjalp unge mødre, blev erstattet af mine evner og erfaringer som personlig assistent.  

Så i sommeren 2015 fik jeg et cvr.nr og åbnede min business CK Administrationsservice.

I WAS HIGH ON LIFE!!!

Det var den vildeste følelse af at være “herre i eget hus”, selv at kunne bestemme sine arbejdstider, sove længe (hvis jeg havde arbejdet til sent), tage fri når jeg havde brug for lidt luftforandring og arbejde i min have, under æbletræet til fuglekvidder og med sol på kinderne.

Det var det liv jeg havde drømt om og NU var det endelig kommet til mig.

Drømmen blev til et mareridt

Men at være selvstændig er HÅRDT arbejde. Altså som i VIRKELIGT hårdt arbejde. Der er ingen anden til at skaffe penge i kassen end dig selv (medmindre at du har en partner der bidrager til en stor del af din husholdning – I don’t). Og for at der kommer penge ind, så skal der skaffes kunder i butikken. Jeg arbejdede hårdt og MANGE timer på at få nye kunder og betalte en pæn stor sum penge for at andre hjalp mig med at skaffe dem. Jeg rakte ud til netværk, familie og venner og spurgte om de kendte til nogle der kunne gøre brug af min service. Flere nævnte at det virksomheder havde mest brug for, og ville betale for, var bogføring. Well, ok… Jeg kan godt finde ud af bogføring, bestemt ikke mit stærkeste kort, slet ikke min passion eller drøm, men jeg er selv meget økonomisk bevidst og kender til diverse bogføringsprogrammer, så jeg sagde JA til at tage kunder ind i biksen der kun ville have lavet bogføring (Håbede dog på at de kunne se mine andre evner og dernæst ville hyre mig ind som online personlig assistent – DET SKETE IKKE!!)

Det blev alt andet end min drøm, det blev et MARERIDT og i starten af 2017 gik jeg ned med stress, efter at have arbejdet 60+ timer hver uge i et helt år. Jeg blev nødt til at afvikle de fleste af mine kunder, som på det tidspunkt var blevet til en hel del.

Stress blev min redning og vendte mit liv på hoved

I 3 måneder kunne jeg kun ligge og kigge op i loftet. Jeg kunne lige få tingene til at køre rundt økonomisk, og jeg isolerede mig fra alt og alle.

Stressen fik mig til virkelig at overveje hvem jeg var, hvad jeg ville bruge mit liv på og hvordan jeg kunne få en fremtid, hvor jeg stod op hver dag og var glad for mit liv.

En dag i marts 2017 kom det hele til mig. Som et lyn fra en klar himmel. Jeg var ikke i tvivl, og jeg ville gøre hvad der skulle til for at opnå det. Jeg ville få min mangeårige drøm til at gå i opfyldelse, om at hjælpe andre mennesker, jeg havde bare aldrig troet at det skulle blive på den måde. Jeg søgte ind på socialrådgiveruddannelsen, den skulle skabe min vej til at hjælpe andre. I slutningen af juli måned 2017 fik jeg svaret. Jeg var kommet ind og d. 1.9.2017 tager jeg tilbage på skolebænken i en alder af 40 år – En ny drøm er skabt og sat i gang og sammen med min uddannelse vil jeg assistere Sofia, hvilket jeg er yderst taknemlig for.

Nu tænker du måske nok, kære læser, hvorfor søren fortæller jeg dig alt det her?

Jamen det gør jeg fordi at jeg vil “vise” dig, at du aldrig skal stoppe med at drømme. Du skal aldrig stoppe med at gå efter dine drømme, uanset hvilke omstændigheder du møder. Men mest af alt ønsker jeg at inspirere dig til, igennem min historie, at lade dig vide at vores drømme kan skifte og at det er ok, uanset hvad andre mennesker så måtte mene.

Det er aldrig er for sent at gå efter dine drømme, uanset hvilken situation du står i – So go for it!!!

 

💜Du kan følge Camilla på hendes blog her hvor hun deler ud af det autentiske liv og de udfordringer der kommer i livet samt hvordan man kommer videre derfra💜

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Dear beautiful people, today I have been invited to come inside Sofias world on this blog (thanks sweet Sofia <3), but those of you who follow Sofia on social media maybe know who I am.

My name is Camilla and I’m Sofia’s assistant in Denmark, and have been the last few months and enjoy working with her and helping inspire you every day.

But before my journey of life led me with Sofia, I’ve gone through emotional mountains, fighting inner struggles and changing my dreams many times over the last 40 years.

Unexpectedly pregnant

When I was “unexpectedly” pregnant at the age of 24, I was in my last year of my education as sales assistant. I never dreamed that my life would take that turn and that I should go to my last exam 8 month pregnant. It was the wildest upheaval in my life to become a mother and everything I’d dreamed of was suddenly put to a halt.

Here I stood in the summer of 2002, with my little newborn daughter and just bought a small apartment with my daughter’s father, I did not have a job and did not honestly know how to make everything happen.

It was a tough time for me, my child and my relationship with her father as we all had to turn to a new life. In the summer of 2004, just after my daughter’s 2th birthday, her father and I chose to go apart. Once again my life took a spin that I had never dreamed of.

The wildest thing was that for the first time, at the age of 27, I had to live alone, and then with a little girl without a job. There was no time to dwell too much about the situation, now it was about getting a daily job and make some money so we could manage ourselves.

The first dreams as a single mom

I had always had a desire to do something creative. Develop and create things and beautiful frames, which was why I took my education as a sales assistant in an interior and design shop. Here I was allowed to create and inspire others to get beautiful homes that reflected who they were. But with a small child and a much needed economy, I could not take a job at a store because working hours simply did not hang out for me alone, and I could not afford to pay for a babysitter.

So it was about thinking ahead. Create new dreams for myself. I dreamed big and wanted to do something with my life. Something I loved and who made sense to me completely into my soul.

I dreamed of helping other mothers who stood in the same situation as me, an opportunity for me to learn something from others myself too. We could stand together in the challenges of being single moms.

Money before dreams

Everyone around me just wanted me to take a job as soon as possible, and I did. It should not be said that I prioritized my own dreams in order to make money for me and my daughter. I compromised myself so that people could not judge me (Which I felt they wanted – it was my conviction at the time).

But that job did not last long. I was depressed. I hated my job as a receptionist and I cried every day I drove home from work. One morning I got up and handed in my resignation, applied for a place on an event coordinator education (so I could be creative again), and weeks later I came in and started as a student. I dreamed new dreams. I looked forward again. I was happy.

New dreams as a single mom – Soon again, they were replaced by money shortage

It was an absolutely wonderful creative time as a student and I loved it. I had time to be a mother while learning new things, being creative and inspired every day. Yes, it was hard economical to be at SU as a single mom, especially because, like most other students, I did not have the opportunity to take a student job when I was solo, but we did it and neither I nor my daughter suffered any distress.

When I was finished and trained as event coordinator after 2 years, I was flying and just had to live and live my dream life as an event coordinator. But again my life took an unexpected turn. The crisis hit Denmark and the world and no companies needed a newly-educated coordinator.

Again, I had to see my dreams crumble in my hands and look around for an alternative.

The alternative became another office job. Still a job of need more than of light. Another choice taken to survive and support. But I did not feel like I had another choice – it was my conviction at the time.

The years passed, I worked in various positions as Personal Assistant and Office Mouse. I was good at it. I realized that something within me felt a kind of “Need to be needed” feeling, and as a personal assistant there is a need for you and what you do. But I was never really happy completely into the soul. I worked inconveniently many hours both at the office and at home and it slid me up inside.

I did not dream anymore about the future. I was just in life. One day took the other and I hardly remember what I was doing those years Besides being mother and work. I survived instead of living.

The fury that led the dreams alive again

My dreams were, however, wakened to life by chance on the day of 2015 where I was fired due to cuts. I got very sad. Terrifying indeed. For how should I survive?

But few days later, the dream came to me .. This was a sign. A sign that again it was time to live and not just survive. I could finally live my dream of helping others, creating my own business and everyday life. However, the process of finding what I was supposed to, change changed along the way. I had to use my skills to help in a different way than initially assumed, so the dream of an independent life as one that helped young mothers was replaced by my skills and experiences as a personal assistant.

So in the summer of 2015, I got a cvr.nr and opened my business “CK Administration Service” – I WAS HIGH ON LIFE !!!

It was the wildest feeling of being “Lord of Own House”, even deciding my working hours, sleeping for a long time (if I had worked too late), take off when I needed a little change of air and work in my garden, under the apple tree To birdwatchers and with sun on the cheeks.

It was the life I had dreamed of and NOW it finally came to me.

The dream became a nightmare

But being self-employed is hard work. So as in REAL hard work. There is no one else to raise money in the box than yourself (unless you have a partner that contributes to a large part of your household – I do not). And to get money, customers will have to be bought in the store. I worked hard and MANY hours to get new customers and paid a nice amount of money for others to help me get them. I went out to network, family and friends and asked if they knew about someone who could use my service. Several mentioned that the businesses most needed and would pay for were accounting. Well, ok … I can find out my bookmark, certainly not my strongest card, not my passion or dream, but I’m very financially aware and know about various bookkeeping programs so I said YES to take customers into the fold that Only wanted to have bookkeeping. (Hope, however, that they could see my other skills and then would hire me as an online personal assistant – IT DID NOT HAPPEN !!)

It became anything but my dream, it became a marvel and in the beginning of 2017 I went down with stress after working 60+ hours each week for a whole year. I had to settle most of my customers, which at that time had become a lot.

Stress became my rescue and turned my life on my mind

For 3 months I could only lie in bed staring at the ceiling. I could just make things drive economically, and I isolated myself from everything and everyone.

The stress made me really think who I was, what I wanted to spend my life on and how I could get a future where I got up everyday and was happy with my life.

One day in March 2017 it all came to me. Like a lightning from a clear sky. I was in no doubt and I would do what it needed to achieve it. I would have my long-standing dream come true, to help other people, I just never thought it would be that way. I applied for  social work education, it should make my way to helping others. By the end of July 2017 I got the answer. I had be accepted and on the. 1.9.2017 I go back to the school bench at the age of 40 – A new dream is created and started and together with my education I will assist Sofia, for which I am very grateful.

Now you may think, dear reader why, why do I tell you all this?

But I do because I want to “show” you that you should never stop dreaming. Never stop following your dreams, no matter what circumstances you meet. But most of all, I want to inspire you through my story to let you know that our dreams can change and that it’s ok, whatever other people might think.

It’s never too late to go after your dreams, no matter what situation you’re in – So go for it !!!

💜You can follow Camilla here on her blog where she shares the authentic life and the challenges that come to life as well as how to get on from there.💜

 

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